T.V. Show Ratings

Inspired by one of my favorite books, here's my ratings of kid's TV shows that I've sat through in Colombia.


WOW WOW WUBBZY
First of all, if the theme song doesn't give you a seizure, the rest of the episode surely will.

"Wubbzy" (genus species unknown) is a creature built solely of right-angles, who looks like he was drawn on an etch-a-sketch, and goes on adventures with his friends. On one episode, they helped a squirrel build a machine to help gather acorns. Just kidding, I've never made it through the opening.

Rating: D+


PINKY DINKY DOO
So here's the rundown of every Pinky Dinky Doo episode. Some stuff happens, then there is a dilemma, then Pinky tells a story, then comes up "un gran idea" and her head swells up like a parade float. It is a show rife with imagination since the entire episode is Pinky's stories, and for the most part everything happens inside a cardboard box. However, none of this matters, because after the dilemma, and before the story...there is this dance. Which is awesome in every way. Si señores positones indeed!


Rating: B+

HI-5
Maybe you've been to your local neighborhood amusement park and have seen "the show". At Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, there are people singing all over the artificially reconstructed world....in Italia....in Germany....in New France (can't we just call it Canada?). These are kids making their career stop between "lead in the high school production of Annie Get Your Gun" and "waiter/waitress in NYC". Unlike the amusement park though, there is no roller coaster to look foward too. Just more singing after the commercial break...and dancing...and singing...and dancing. Yuck.


Rating: F


BACKYARDIGINS
Not every computer animator gets to work for Pixar. If you have kids, you're likely familiar with the adventures of a yellow hippo, and a orange moose, and uh, um....a lavender eagle....and, jeesh they all look alike, a chartruse giraffe? The animals go to the backyard and act out fantasies. Think more "hey, you're a gypsy and we're all pirates!" and less "Eyes Wide Shut". This show encourages children to use their imaginations.....and drugs. At least the spanish version of the theme song is better than the US version. Just kidding...it's still horrific. It's the worst song not named "Hotel California" or sung by this band.

Rating: B-


LAZY TOWN
The only show that passes the "I would actually watch this if I didn't have kids" test. When this show comes on I find myself saying things like "Luis, Samuel...stop reading those worthless books and watch some T.V.!". The brilliance of the show can be summed up in an episode where the villian, Robbie Rotten, dresses up as a doctor, puts spots on all the vegetables and kids and declares there is a plague, tries to steal the blimp of the hero, Sportacus, and when he is finally revealed (hey residents of Lazy Town...who could the mysterious stranger be? How about the only member of the town that is not present?) declares "VOY A EXPLICAR NADA!". The show smacks of propaganda....carrots are awesome!, cookies and candies are bad, however the stingy character is allowed to stay stingy, and Ziggy, the sugar-addicted kid, never really changes his ways. It's as if right and wrong are presented, but how we interpret the information is up to us. How Postmodern!



Rating: A