I have been realizing as I get older I become more forgetful, not just names/dates/etc..., but I quickly forget God's goodness. For those of you who are familiar with Troy and I's struggle to expand our family, you may not be surprised that we have been on quite the roller coaster where faith is concerned. We have seen pregnancy and children come so easily into the lives of many of our friends. The wait has been excrutiating. It is almost second nature now to believe that God has forsaken us. We both have had to really fight against feeling abandonned, and we have had to cling to what little hope we have left that God is good.
And He really is good. He is better than good, He is almighty and He has a plan. That plan may not be what we envisioned when we first set out on this journey toward parenthood. The plan may be the hardest thing we have ever gone through (and hopefully ever will go through). Some days I think it has been a blessing because it has refined our marriage in ways that nothing else could. And it has led to a place of great expectation.
We continue to wait, but this is the fun part. There is no paperwork to be done (at least temporarily). Instead we get to brush up on our Spanish, figure out how to raise the remaining funds we need, watch as much TV as our DVR can hold, and (as a friend recently pointed out) go out to dinner.
"In this [God's great mercy] you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
I Peter 1:6-7