It's Troy here....for those of you who were worried that Andrea had me locked in the garage, that simply was not true (although your concern is appreciated). A nice run on the greenway helped me find something to write about. Also, Andrea is quite sick. I came back from Harris Teeter with enough cold medicine that I'm sure I'm now on some watchlist in North Carolina for starting a meth lab. Which depending how the fundraising goes is something we may look into (I'm of course kidding..... Really...just kidding...can't say that enough).
It's snowing in Charlotte as I write this. This is nice after the drought, as our brown yard is now white. Green is likely at least a year away. I just got back from running 11 miles, which in 37 degree and raining weather, gave me time to clear my head, while the rest of me was freezing. The thought that stayed in my head throughout the run as I thought about the adoption, was "are we ready for this"?
The phrase we continually hear is that "this will change your life." While my first reaction is to be flip (as comedian Louis CK said..."Of course my life is changing...now I have a BABY"), we of course recognize this as a life-changing event. Getting a dog changed our lives, getting a second dog changed our lives (the merit of this decision is still being debated), getting a Trader Joe's down the street from us changed our lives -and yes, this will be the biggest change of all. When the words "this will change your life" are spoken as a soft warning, I tend to appreciate and value it. It comes across from parents saying, enjoy your free time now, and truly providing constructive and thoughtful advice.
When those words come across with a touch of disbelief, they are frequently coupled with phrases like "do you know what you're getting yourself into?" & "are you sure you're ready for this?". I'm always caught slightly off guard by these questions. Do I say that we think that most parents are martyrs and we expect this to be pretty easy and wait for a reaction? We of course do and don't know what we are getting ourselves into. Are we doing our best to fundraise, work extra jobs, get our house as bebe ready as possible? Of course. Are we going to be surprised, challenged, caught off guard, amazed and a myriad of others things we don't know about? We expect and welcome this.
Being 100% ready for kids would mean buying cold medicine the day before they get sick; placing a pile of pillows down on the deck right before they fall and break their arm. All this to say, we truly trust in God's provision and believe that we will be as ready as we need to be. We probably weren't "ready" to be married, but the last almost 5 years have been amazing and I wouldn't change a thing (maybe the Seahawks/Packers game, but that's likely out of my power).
We are currently working on many phases of the process at all times, and it seems more and more real ever day. Reading others blogs, especially those traveling right now (like the Armstrong's wonderful blog), have become addicting - as we share the excitment of those traveling, and can't help put ourselves in the experiences that await us.
We look forward to being ready and being not ready. After years and years of waiting to bring home our bebes, we would certainly have it no other way.
Much Love,
Troy and Andi
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6 comments:
When I give advice to new moms, it usually goes something like this,"you are your child's parent and as you look to God, he will give you everything you need." That is no different for you. You are adopting children (something that God says is good and right to do) and he will give you everything you need to be their mom and dad. We are praying for you.
Hi, Troy and Andrea,
We adopted three from Colombia in Feb. 2007. I can't tell you how many odd looks and questions we got when we told people we were going to adopt THREE kids! The "Are you ready?" question was often answered, "As ready as we can be!" My husband often got annoyed, knowing that, heck no, we weren't *really* ready . . . how can you be?! . . . but somehow, you receive grace when it is needed and you somehow adjust! Now, it has been almost a year with our kids, and I would say it took us about 10 months to feel "normal." Hang in there!
janine
p.s. Personally, I think the best way to be ready is to enjoy some time to yourselves! Sleep in when you can, go out to eat, and have fun, just the two of you! :)
I just admire those of you who are adopting siblings...especially 3 or 4 at once. I think it is truely an amazing thing to do and wish you all of the patience in the world! :) Its going to be fantastic, scary and wildly eventful. Know that the best thing about being part of this community is that you have a support system. While we may have only adopted 1, there are many who have adopted more than 1 and we can all share and learn from one another.
Hope everyone in your household is in great health soon. Don't forget to enjoy your quiet time together now, while you can.
Laura
if you can run 11 miles in 30 degree temperature and snow, i'd say you're ready for anything, including kids! of course...we don't have any.
looking forward to seeing you at the draft...
ps i love studying for my PE on a saturday night. just like I did in school...
Don't let anyone ever tell you they were "ready" for children. Just decide beforehand that no matter what the struggles, you are going to be fine and will support each other. It will be so much fun! Can't wait to see you travel and start this new chapter in your life.
Karen
Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you guys are amazingly crazy for adopting 3 at one time!! You are truly one of the bravest couples I know! God has put this in your heart for sure. He will be the one to sustain you and get you through all the frustrations and wonders of caring for dependent human beings. I still don't feel ready for children and constantly ask God, "Are you sure you meant to do this?" It is the most heartwarming thing to look into their eyes as they look at you... to help them with everything. I pray daily(hourly) that they may know God and lean on Him as they deal with me.
I look forward to talking with you all! I want to get in touch soon!
love,
mandy
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